Yesterday’s Calif. Supreme Court ruling flooded the e-waves with messages from the free-thinking populous to their token gay friends all across the state, joking “So when’s the wedding!?” Hey, I’m guilty of this. I sent two emails. It’s really no different than when I received a bunch of emails from obscure coworkers and friends after the shark attack in San Diego…because I was the token surfer in their Roladex. Everyone should be someone’s token something.
Anyway, back to the gays…good for them. Good for everyone. The institution of matrimony (and I speak in generalizations) is fucked (duh). The great majority of marriages dilute down to a cocktail of false pretense, infidelity, and apathy. Or they just plain fail altogether (which may be the nobler outcome). In the process, millions of children are screwed up for life, adults become hopeless, and billions of dollars are lost.
I have no idea what the ramifications of gay marriage will be on society and their adopted children, but the bar is set pretty damn low so I’m all for social experiment. Hey, ‘Gay Marriage’ by pure definition means ‘Happy Marriage’ so that’s a start.
So, here’s the thing…
Marriages in the Midwest are still strong. They are only screwed up in Cali because the couples there spend too much time out in the sun playing volleyball on the beach and watching sunsets on some amazing cliffs that hang over the Pacific Ocean when they should be with their spouse sitting on a porch in a rocking chair with a beer in one hand and a shotgun in the other. After all, those that rock together, stay together.
Marriage is lame. It’s totally not cool anymore. You heard it hear first.
-Your token divorcee friend
Emily-
You don’t want to tie the knot? Finally, the girl of my dreams! Marry me!
-Man in the Ironic Mask
White Chocolate-
Lets skip the wedding and go straight to the divorce. That’s where all weddings lead anyways.
Emily-
Sounds miserable. I’m in.
WC
P.S. I hope you got a lot of shit since I get half of it.
P.S.S. Congrats, you now own 50% of my sizable debt! Enjoy!
I’m Wade, Steves token gay. And I approve of this message. Now quit pressure texting me to get married fucker.
FYI: Same-sex weddings could create hundreds of new jobs and pump hundreds of millions of dollars into California’s economy, according to a new study released Monday.
http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D917970O0.htm